Not qualified to give advice…

A friend’s mom recently asked me to write a couple paragraphs of advice for new parents for a book for my friend who is having her first child.  While I was happy to contribute, I don’t feel at all qualified to provide anyone advice.  I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time!

The following was what I finally managed to come up with.  Inappropriate? Of course.  I didn’t want to just say the same old things.  Hopefully it helps her though or at least provides a laugh.  (I think she’s just as quirky as I am, or at least was in high school.)  I figured I’d share it here because I haven’t gotten to blog recently as we’ve been traveling (thanks Delta) and LB was quite sick for a week (thanks 2 docs who prescribed Z pack which is now ineffective against almost everything).

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Advice for New Parents

I won’t give you the traditional advice, because you can just Google that and likely already have!  What I want to share with you is something that has gotten me through many long sleepless nights and sometimes crazy daytime behavior that is mystifying to anyone but a toddler.  Babies are just small, drunk people.

Toddlers stumble around, are constantly changing their minds, love everyone but get frustrated incredibly easily.  They don’t know what they want, and you’ll often have to convince them to drink some water or lay down and rest.  You also can’t understand a thing they are saying.  But just like your college friends, you’ll step up and do what you can to help them feel better/keep them safe.  Unlike your friends (hopefully), they’ll pull this shit on you every day for a year (or 2 or 3).  But they’re so cute when they’re happy that you’ll forget the hard times.  And when they’re being crazy, just think “this too shall pass”.

Newborns have it worse.  What is it like to be born?  It’s probably similar to recovering from the worst hangover.  The lights are too bright, everyone is talking too loudly, the room is too cold, and they have no idea where they are or how they got there.  Plus, they’re hungry but eating makes them spit up.  The best thing to do is help them sleep it off.  Treat the first three months as a “fourth trimester” and then they’ll really be ready to tackle the world!

LB’s best newborn “hungover” face.

Wanderlust with a toddler

Instead of working, I spent the morning dreaming about our next adventure.  Unfortunately, it won’t be anytime soon.  We might be able to make next summer work, but it turns out there are very few good places to travel with a toddler!  Don’t get me wrong; I know you can basically just take them with you wherever you want to go.  But since it’s a vacation, it’d be nice to be somewhere that having a toddler doesn’t make the experience ten-fold more complicated and stressful.  I want LB to enjoy the trip too!

To find toddler-friendly trips, I went to the almighty Google.  But most of what is recommended is for kids 4+.  The best I could find was a recommendation for Disney Cruises, where they’ll babysit your tots for an extra charge.  I’ve never been on a cruise before, but a Disney cruise isn’t my usual idea of an adventure!  I have heard that Amsterdam is baby-friendly.  Plus, they have these awesome bikes you can rent.

A bakfiets in Amsterdam (taken from MyLittleNomads).

During my search for “Amsterdam kid friendly”, I came across a blog called MyLittleNomads and the front page is titled “Travel with Kids: Why You Should Do It – And Do It Now.”  Maybe it will inspire me to take one of these trips sooner rather than later!  Do you have any toddler-friendly places you would recommend?

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Future Adventures

• Trip to the Galápagos Islands with the kids.  I want to wait on this one until our kids are around 10 years old.  This is one I’d be willing to shell out the extra money to do a National Geographic Expedition.

 

• Visit southern Italy and then hop a boat to Tunisia.  I’ll have to wait on this one until I’ve improved my conversational Italian (it will be good practice!) and Tunisia becomes a little safer to visit again.  I’ve never been south of Rome even though I’ve spent 8 weeks in Italy (in two chunks), so it’s definitely on my bucket list.  This time, I’ll spend more time taking language lessons and cooking classes and less time trudging through museums.  Tunisia just looks beautiful, like Morocco was!  And I’d love to visit the ancient city of Carthage.
  

  

 

• Visit to Argentina and then a cruise to Antarctica.  I feel ashamed that I’ve been to Europe a good 8 times, but I’ve never visited South America.   PB and I took Argentine Tango lessons for several years – it was actually the first dance at our wedding!  I’d love to visit any country where dancing in the street is not uncommon. (I’m looking at you, Cuba.)  As for Antarctica, well I’m not big on cold, but it’d be awesome to visit every continent!  Plus, I’ve joked that I’d like to get a massage on every continent as a twist on the traditional bucket list (3 down!) and an Antarctica cruise might be able to make that happen.
  

  

  ADELIE PENGUIN (Pygoscelis adeliae), GROUP DIVING FROM ICEFLOE IN HOPE BAY, ANTARCTIC PENINSULA, ANTARTICA

   

  I’ll have to stop here because I really ought to get some work done this afternoon before I have to grab LB from daycare.  Next wanderlust list will have to feature Germany, Alaska, Yosemite, and Prague.