Not qualified to give advice…

A friend’s mom recently asked me to write a couple paragraphs of advice for new parents for a book for my friend who is having her first child.  While I was happy to contribute, I don’t feel at all qualified to provide anyone advice.  I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time!

The following was what I finally managed to come up with.  Inappropriate? Of course.  I didn’t want to just say the same old things.  Hopefully it helps her though or at least provides a laugh.  (I think she’s just as quirky as I am, or at least was in high school.)  I figured I’d share it here because I haven’t gotten to blog recently as we’ve been traveling (thanks Delta) and LB was quite sick for a week (thanks 2 docs who prescribed Z pack which is now ineffective against almost everything).

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Advice for New Parents

I won’t give you the traditional advice, because you can just Google that and likely already have!  What I want to share with you is something that has gotten me through many long sleepless nights and sometimes crazy daytime behavior that is mystifying to anyone but a toddler.  Babies are just small, drunk people.

Toddlers stumble around, are constantly changing their minds, love everyone but get frustrated incredibly easily.  They don’t know what they want, and you’ll often have to convince them to drink some water or lay down and rest.  You also can’t understand a thing they are saying.  But just like your college friends, you’ll step up and do what you can to help them feel better/keep them safe.  Unlike your friends (hopefully), they’ll pull this shit on you every day for a year (or 2 or 3).  But they’re so cute when they’re happy that you’ll forget the hard times.  And when they’re being crazy, just think “this too shall pass”.

Newborns have it worse.  What is it like to be born?  It’s probably similar to recovering from the worst hangover.  The lights are too bright, everyone is talking too loudly, the room is too cold, and they have no idea where they are or how they got there.  Plus, they’re hungry but eating makes them spit up.  The best thing to do is help them sleep it off.  Treat the first three months as a “fourth trimester” and then they’ll really be ready to tackle the world!

LB’s best newborn “hungover” face.

French Kids Eat Everything

Last month I finished reading French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon, and it was really quite interesting!  Le Billon tells the story of moving her family (with two young children) to a remote part of Brittany, France, where her husband grew up.  A lot of what she writes isn’t advice but simply stories about her experiences, the various things she tried with her girls, and the traditions of that particular region.

While I found several of her stories shocking (it was considered rude to interrupt dinner when her husband had to go to the ER for a severe allergic reaction) and the French views on breastfeeding and attachment parenting disappointing (it’s rarely done and usually frowned upon), there were a lot of really fantastic ideas to help kids develop a healthy attitude toward food.  By “healthy,” I don’t mean specifically focused on diet or nutrition.  I mean that eating should be enjoyable:

1. Families should try to eat together, at the table without distractions, for at least one meal a day.
2. Meals shouldn’t be rushed.  This is a social time!
3. Variety is important.  Don’t eat the same meat/vegetable/grain more than one time each week.  Trying new foods should be exciting, not scary.
4. Cooking is a time to be enjoyed.  Slow down and savor the art.  Set the table and even light a candle.  Put on some music.  (Le Billon recommends French artists Yann Tiersen and Francis Cabrel who I’ve been enjoying.)

My son is only 10 months old, but this book has inspired me to encourage his developing tastes before neophobia (the fear of new foods) sets in around two years old.  Right now, he eats everything!  He even enjoyed some baked oysters recently when we were at the beach.  But I realized that I need to be more adventurous.  I don’t eat a lot of seafood, and so I’ve made a special effort recently to cook more seafood at home.  I’ve started with lighter fish like tilapia and cobia, but plan to work my way up to more adventurous offerings!

Little Bear at 7 1/2 months old.  We’re still working on eating neatly!

I’ve also been taking it slower in the kitchen.  It’s summer now and I’m not teaching, so while I still go into the office to work five days a week, I have a little more time at home.  I’ve gotten to try several new dishes and am embracing this time for “marvelous meals” (pasta squisti) as Dianne Hales writes on her blog La Bella Lingua.  Perhaps some will stick around and become part of our regular repertoire in the fall!

New Favorite Recipes

• Easy Crustless Quiche – similar to Le Billon’s in the book.  Little Bear ate an entire slice himself for dinner last night!
• Tomato Scallion Shortcakes with Whipped Goat Cheese – easier than it sounds.  From one of my favorites, The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook.
• Tagliatelle with Yogurt and Caramelized Onions – From Food52 Genius Recipes: 100 Recipes That Will Change the Way You Cook.